The Problem Clown

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The Problem Clown
Date2080-12-10
GMPurkinje
LocationSeattle
Belligerents
Bojangles the Problem Clown
Casualties and losses
Bojangles sustained light injury.

Summary

Hot clown-on-clown action.

Background

A man in Bellevue claims someone called "The Problem Clown" keeps throwing hatchets and knives at his back when he's going through a depressive episode. His wife stops the Problem Clown each time, but she is out of town for a while, and he needs someone to protect him.

The Meet

Rambozo drives to the client's Bellevue home in his Thundercloud Morgan with obviously illegal weapon mounts, but the cop coming out of the Stuffer Shack doesn't bother him today. Good Boy rides there early and looks for sticks in the area. Geist drives there on time in an unassuming (if large) vehicle. The client appears to be an unshaven, sweaty, middle-aged human man in a bathrobe and slippers. He invites the team inside and rants about the Problem Clown causing him so much trouble. He even shows them his back, which has scars in it where the hatchets and knives must have been stuck. Good Boy smells that he is indeed sweaty, and Rambozo suggests that they should strap him to his back so that the Problem Clown can't actually hit him with knives. He agrees, but says he needs to get dressed for work first.

The Run

Rambozo straps the businessman to his back like a baby carrier and piles into Geist's large vehicle with him and Good Boy to drive the client to work. Once there, Rambozo turns around and kneels to hold the client up to his terminal at the office. This continues for a while until Geist and Good Boy discover a clown nose in his cubicle's recycling bin, identifying it as belonging to a member of the Scatterbrains. The client becomes immediately distressed and says they need to leave. First, he asks them to check for explosives on Geist's car. Fortunately there aren't any, but Good Boy picks up on a chest of dry ice sitting in a nearby alleyway. He follows a trail to a cellar door with an electronic lock, which Rambozo crowbars open without much effort. When he does, the sound of gunfire comes from down below. Good Boy leaps into action, but only finds a rack full of toy guns strung up to the door. Rambozo then feels a thump on his back, followed by a pained shout. He turns around, and in the glare of the sun, sees a clown perched on the rooftop up above with dozens of hatchets and throwing knives. He laughs and says, "WHERE'S YOUR WIFE NOW?!?!" Rambozo returns fire, tagging the clown with stick & shock rounds from his machine gun. Geist jumps into his rotodrone and flies up to the rooftop, only to find the clown has fled inside via a hanging door. He maintains his aerial surveillance as Rambozo and Good Boy chase the clown inside. Good Boy searches the first floor to no success. Rambozo searches the second floor and manages to spot the clown entering the bathroom. He clears out the bathroom stalls one by one until there is only one stall left. He then kicks a smoke grenade under the stall, setting off a fire alarm. He kicks the stall door in and throttles the clown, and the sprinklers wash the facepaint off, revealing him to look exactly like the client. With his last conscious breath, the clown says, "I WAS THE REAL CLOWN ALL ALONG!" Rambozo quickly checks on the man on his back, only to find him short-circuiting in the heavy sprinkler.

Aftermath

After leaving with both the clown and the robot, the team is called by an unknown number. It turns out to be the client's wife, who explains that her husband is a clown with an elaborate prank that involves tricking people into not realizing that he is the Problem Clown. She pays the team for their time and apologizes.

Rewards

  • 2,000¥
  • 2 Karma

Player After Action Reports (AARs)

Rambozo

Ramby, his head reeling from the plot twist of Bojangles, returns to his shack in Puyallup, shutting himself away for almost half a week, doing nothing but drugs and coming up with more elaborate prank plans than Bojangles ever thought possible! One day, when Bojangles least excepts it, he will be the ball in Ramby's latest Rube Goldberg Machine!